


somewhere only we know

by pitstopcrew



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, coco dies but it's not mentioned in detail, just soft husbands being soft, lewis is a seven times world champion, sebastian hates his car, set after australia and before the season restart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28260042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitstopcrew/pseuds/pitstopcrew
Summary: Seb is bored during the covid break so he invites Lewis and the dogs over. Things happen that make Seb's heart beat faster but is he willing to take the risk and tell Lewis what he feels?
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72





	somewhere only we know

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends :)  
> this was heavily inspired by the Call by Regina Spektor because I feel like the first verse was written for Sewis.  
> huge thanks to @simplyverstappen for beta reading this and encouraging me by sending me many many sewis gifs, you truly are the best <3

Lewis is a seven time World Champion. It’s a big number and Sebastian isn’t sure he can actually understand it. He has always looked up to Michael and his seven titles and 91 Grand Prix wins and while he has always dreamt of breaking that record he would have never thought it to be possible.  
But here he stands, Lewis fucking Hamilton, looking at this trophy that gave him his seventh World Title like it’s the best thing that ever happened to him and Sebastian thinks back to a few months ago.

It had barely been a week since he had flown home from the Australian Grand Prix. From the cancelled Grand Prix. He honestly can’t remember the last time that a Grand Prix was cancelled and he is sure it hasn’t happened during his career. But then again his head is full with so many other things these days he couldn’t even say for sure what he ate for dinner yesterday.  
Winter testing hadn’t been all too good this year and there are rumours that the Ferrari engine wasn’t exactly legal and he’s sure that this is gonna end in a shit storm.  
He doesn’t even know what to do with his time now that there are no races and no testing. Just nothing to do. Of course he has his farm but that doesn’t really fill his time.  
Sebastian is bored. He tries to keep himself busy with workouts and cleaning the house and finally building that damned barn and doing some gardening and while it is a calming routine it is also kind of sad.  
So in the heat of a very lonely moment he texts Lewis. He doesn’t even know why. But somehow he feels most connected to Lewis. All the other guys on the grid… well he likes them, even has decent relationships with a few but he’s not sure any of them would really understand. Kimi keeps putting videos of his kids in his whatsapp status and Dan seems to have the time of his life in Australia and apart from that… Well he could always text his teammate but Charles is way too young to understand what Seb is going through and he is pretty sure the boy is partying the night away on some very expensive yacht in Monaco. So he texts Lewis. It isn’t even something very long or important. He just asks a simple how are you doing? And doesn’t even expect an answer. Who even knows if Lewis has his number saved? Are they even friends? Sebastian likes to thing they are. And sometimes, alone and lonely in the dark, he likes to think that they could be more. More than colleagues and more than friends and he finds himself thinking back to the times when he stood on countless podiums with Lewis, to all the longing glances and the brief but comforting touches they have exchanged. They could be more. But then again Seb is pretty sure Lewis is straight.  
It barely takes five minutes for his phone to ring. It’s not a text message short ring-ding but rather a I want to talk to you rind-ding-ding-ding and he nearly falls over his feet to get to the damn phone only to see Lewis’ name lighting up the display.  
He presses the green button and tries to control his breath a little and his heartbeat.  
“Hello” he says and is impressed with how calm his voice sounds. Because he sure as hell isn’t calm. He wasn’t even expecting a text back and now Lewis is calling him.  
“Hey” Lewis’ soft voice does what Sebastian has failed to do. It calms his heartbeat and it instantly puts a smile on his face. “Are you okay?”  
Sebastian nods and murmurs a quiet “yes”. Now that I hear your voice. Unsaid. “Mostly bored to be honest”. His heart misses a beat when he hears Lewis laughing.  
“Yeah me too”. And Seb’s heart is back to racing. “What are you doing to pass the time?” Lewis seems genuinely interested in what Seb has been doing.  
“Oh you know. Farm life. Deep cleaned the house for the first time in like… forever, I think” Once again Lewis’ quiet laugh makes him giddy. “I’m actually building a barn because I really want a few more animals but that’s not going very well. I’m really not much of a craftsman”  
“Sounds like you had an exciting few days since Australia”. Something in Lewis’ voice lets Sebastian listen up. A hint of sadness, of melancholy.  
“Are you okay?” Seb can’t help but ask and it seems like that was exactly what Lewis needed.  
“Probably. Bored mostly too. Coco has been a little sick lately and I’m scared. And I don’t think they like the apartment. They would much rather go run in a park or something but I have to be so so careful. Always had to be but now with Covid… every fan I meet and take a picture with could be a potential spreader so we’ve mostly been staying inside. And it’s killing the mood for all of us”. For half a second Seb is surprised that Lewis opened up to him this much but then his mouth takes over.  
“You know, I have a lot of land and there is literally not a single person around except my housekeeper and she knows how to deal with Formula 1 World Champions…” He lets out a breath and waits. Was that too blunt?  
“Are you inviting me to come to your farm?” Lewis seems amused and Sebastian can only smile.  
“Only if you want to come” he says sheepishly.  
“I feel like you just need someone with a little woodworking skill to build your barn” They both laugh a little and then the line goes quiet for a while. They both don’t seem to know what to say next. Because who in their right mind would invite their biggest rival over to build a damned barn?  
“I have a nice guest room” It sounds a little lame so Sebastian adds: “And there’s really a lot of space for your dogs to run. And the town a few minutes away has a vegan store”. He feels like that does the trick when he hears Lewis snort.  
“I would actually really like to get out of the city for a few days”. Weeks. Months. Years. However long Lewis wants to stay. A small part in Seb is hoping on forever. 

And just like that he’s standing at the airport, in a black mask and big sunglasses and waits. Lewis’ plane has landed already and he should come out soon but who knows how long check out’s gonna take with the dogs.  
And suddenly Sebastian sees him and for the moment he’s glad for the mask that is covering his face. Because it is also covering the huge besotted smile that’s forming right now.  
“Hey” he says once Lewis reached him. Roscoe seems a lot more excited to be here than his human and dog friend and jumps up to sniff Seb’s Hand.  
“Roscoe, shh!” Lewis tugs him back a little and suddenly they are standing eye to eye. How to greet your rival? But Lewis takes the decision from him and pulls him into a hug. Goosebumps form on Seb’s skin and he really hopes Lewis doesn’t notice it.  
When Lewis pulls back, he’s wearing a boyish grin. “Hello Sebastian” he says. And for a second Seb forgets everything. And then he feels his cheeks warming and is once again glad for the mask covering his face. So he pulls himself together.  
“Did you have a nice flight?” he asks while taking over one of the luggage trunks and Roscoe’s leash from Lewis.  
“Pleasant enough. I haven’t flown economy in years. Less comfortable than I remember but the food tastes a lot better now”.  
“You flew economy?” Seb is surprised.  
“Yeah” Lewis shrugs. “Didn’t want to attract unwanted attention, you know? The media would have a fucking field day if they knew I was visiting you”. He laughs a little and Sebastian feels his heart stutter.  
“Well thank god for these face masks or we would already have a few people around us”. 

It takes them two days to fall into a comfortable routine. They both are early risers so they take the dogs out for a walk before breakfast. It helps them to stay fit. Then one of them cooks a healthy breakfast – more often than not it’s Lewis because Seb really isn’t any good at cooking and vegan cooking especially and they spend the rest of the day roaming the farm, building the barn and a thousand other things Seb has been planning on building for years. They finally renovate the steps to the front door and paint the three remaining rooms in the house that Seb was too lazy to do when he moved in.  
And when he finds himself sitting opposite of Lewis during dinner that small part inside his head gets louder. Every time. He wishes there was more between them. That Lewis would not only brush his hand against Seb’s when they’re working or walking the dogs but take it. He wishes he would find the courage to turn to Lewis when they’re out star gazing or laying in freshly mowed grass. He wishes one of them would finally make a move when they’re nearly pressed up against each other in the small kitchen of the farm house. Oh how he wishes that he could just swipe everything of the kitchen counter and kiss Lewis silly on it.  
“I would miss you if you would leave F1” Lewis finally says one quiet night. They’re sitting on the porch, Seb with a beer and Lewis with a glass of wine in hand. And Seb knows what this is about. The rumours. That he won’t make it at Ferrari. That they will replace him after this season. The rumours he’s been trying to forget by burying himself in work here at his sanctuary. But instead of just acknowledging Lewis’ comment he finds himself asking why. And Lewis smiles a little, wearing patience on his face. “You’re the only one I trust. Valtteri… he’s great but I try not to get too close to my teammates after…” He stays quiet.  
“After Nico” Seb finishes the sentence for him and Lewis shoots him a grateful glance.  
“Yeah. But you’re the one I trust. If I see you in my mirror ready to overtake I know you won’t do anything stupid that could get us both killed”.  
“I trust you too. With my life” Seb isn’t sure if he went too far with that one but Lewis turns to him. He smiles. It’s a sad smile but full of hope. And suddenly he takes Seb’s hand.  
“Thank you”. After a while he turns away again but their hands stay together and Seb prays to every god he can think of to calm his heartbeat, to make sure Lewis doesn’t notice.  
They stay quiet for a few minutes and Seb watches the sun go down, breathing in and out steadily.  
“I get why you like it here. It’s peaceful” Still hand in hand with Lewis Seb turns to him and sees him smile. “It fits you very well. To be here, to build something of your own without having Formula 1 attached to it. Everywhere I go there’s people around me recognising me and wanting autographs and pictures. But you… I’m beginning to think you have the right idea. No social media, barely even a whatsapp profile picture and this absolute dream of a home without any fans”. For a split second a thought forms in Seb’s brain. It could be your home too. But he pushes it away.  
“You’re always welcome to visit me” he instead says quietly and Lewis smiles at him again.  
“These two” he nods at the dogs at their feet “would absolutely love it” It hurts for a moment that Lewis doesn’t acknowledge that he would love it too. But these are teenager thoughts, not thoughts a grown man should have so Seb pulls himself together.  
“I would love to have them here more” he murmurs and thinks to himself that maybe getting a dog wouldn’t hurt. But for now he’s enjoying having Lewis and Coco and Roscoe here. 

The next time something happens that lets Sebastian hope for more is the evening after that. They spend the day in the house, sitting out the heavy rain falling from the skies. Not even the dogs want to go outside so the two men decided to turn their attention to the house today. Seb has been meaning to paint the window frames for a while now so that’s what they do. And it turns out a lot more draining than expected. So after dinner Lewis and he find themselves on the couch in the living room. This time they’re both drinking water. None of them seems keen to keep a conversation going so they just turn on the tv and watch some weird show.  
It only takes half an hour for Seb to feel drowsy and tired and about five minutes later he feels Lewis’ head on his shoulder. He starts snoring slightly and Seb can’t help but chuckle at that. Lewis Hamilton snoring? Who would have expected that? So he shifts slightly, puts the blanket over them and closes his eyes as well. 

He wakes up the next morning to a dog slobbering through his face and Lewis’ calm breaths on his chest. Sometime during the night they must have moved and shifted into a laying position because Seb is flat on his back, Lewis curled into him and Coco made herself comfortable at their feet. Only tiny Roscoe seems to be awake and he seems to have taken it rather personal that they have slept in. It doesn’t bother Seb though. His eyes are on Lewis. He hasn’t ever seen the six time World Champion this calm and he can’t stop himself from caressing Lewis’ cheek, stroking through his hair and he wishes, desperately wishes that this could be his every morning. But then Lewis moves and yawns and reality hits. They’re friends. Colleagues. Does he really want to risk it all? 

In the end, this is what keeps Sebastian from doing something incredibly stupid and for the remainder of Lewis’ time here, he tries to keep a friendly distance between them. No more hand holding or falling asleep together. But he still wishes, oh so desperately wishes that he could kiss Lewis and hug him and hold him.  
And when he says goodbye to Lewis and his dogs at the airport he can barely refrain from texting him I miss you as soon as he’s back at the car. 

They still talk on the phone and Seb is tempted to let Lewis visit with Roscoe after Coco dies but the fact that they’re in the middle of a global pandemic makes it easier for him to stay away. He still makes sure Lewis knows that Seb feels sorry and can feel the pain, even if it’s only a fraction of what Lewis feels. 

And then suddenly they’re racing again. All the friendliness between them vanishes the moment they step onto the track in Spielberg. No friendship, just respect and rivalry. And then Charles gets a podium and is eight places in front of Seb and he feels the same way he did in the weeks after the Australian Grand Prix was cancelled and before Lewis had visited him. Alone. The team solely focuses on Charles, he feels ignored, basically has to come up with his own strategies and then they fuck up his pit stops too. And the longer the season goes, the more points Lewis is ahead of him in the Championship the more he gets angry. At Lewis. At Ferrari. At Charles. Mostly at the world. He was supposed to be a Ferrari World Champion. And suddenly he’s a second driver at the team he would have died for. The team that somehow gave Michael their all and is currently giving Charles their all but not him.  
But all his anger fades again the second he steps onto that podium in Turkey. And of course Lewis is there to smile at him in the way that makes warmth pool in his belly and that makes his heart flutter. And when Lewis sprays him with Champagne everything feels alright again.  
A week later, nothing feels alright. He keeps looking at the pictures of Romain driving into that wall, the car bursting into flames. He quietly counts the seconds until Romain gets out of the car and he knows that his colleague got lucky. So lucky. Nearly thirty seconds in that burning car. So he visits him at the hospital. Sebastian has never connected much with the French but he’s easy to talk to and Seb absolutely admires the dedication Romain has. His only focus: getting back into the car. And suddenly Seb counts himself lucky to have never experienced that because he isn’t sure he would have found the mental strength to get back into the car that nearly cost him his life.  
But all that is once again forgotten the next week when he’s dragged into a closed room where they stab him with a Covid test. Lewis has Covid. And Sebastian thinks he’s never been so worried in his entire life.  
It’s the first time he texts Lewis since the season started again. And once again it’s a simple how are you doing? And once again Lewis calls him a few moments later.  
By the sound of his voice, Seb can tell that Lewis doesn’t only have mild symptoms. He sounds terrible, coughing loudly every few minutes, raspy tired voice and Seb thinks he can hear Lewis’ lungs protesting every breath he takes.  
“I’m so worried about you” he finally says, sounding as breathless as Lewis probably is and it feels like a confession of love.  
“I’m fine” Sebastian can’t believe him. Especially not when his words are followed by a heavy cough.  
“You’re not. You’re sick. You might die” Seb knows he’s spiralling and Lewis notices too.  
“Sebastian” he says firmly “I have an excellent immune system. I will not die” And this time Seb believes him.  
“Okay”  
“Tell me about the kid” They both welcome the change of topic and Sebastian sings songs of praise for George Russell. He has always liked the boy, pitied and admired him both for pushing that Williams further and further and further.  
“He drove brilliantly” And Seb thinks he can hear Lewis smile through the line. “Made Bottas fear for his life and his seat. And that’s only in his first two times in the car. The raw talent… my god, he reminds me of myself. I will probably be rooting for him on Sunday. Might let him pass and block Valtteri when they lap me” He chuckles and he hears Lewis’ laugh that turns into an ugly cough a second after. 

After that evening they call every night until Lewis is clear to race. Seb is still worried. Worried that Lewis might experience long term consequences from his infection. Worried that Lewis might not make it through the last race.  
Instead he sees him driving by in his mirror when he laps him, waving at him a little. Savouring the fact that Charles only finished one place ahead of him this time and that he will get a decent race car next year. He might not be a Ferrari World Champion but he could be an Aston Martin World Champion. Who knows?  
For now he’s content with leaning back and watching Lewis celebrate his seventh title. He’s proud, he really is. A little jealous too but this year it wasn’t even close between them so he has a safe distance and can actually be happy for Lewis. And he wishes, wishes so so desperately to tell Lewis what he feels. 

He’s back at his farm. Alone. His Christmas tree stands a little sad looking in the living room and Sebastian can’t help but think that without Lewis and Roscoe and Coco something is missing. He looks out the window to the barn they built through the window frames they painted and he can nearly hear it all again. The happiness. Whatever they had during Covid break. How should he ever feel at home here again without Lewis?  
It takes him a while. But when he finally understands, Seb can only think he is the biggest idiot on earth. Why take the risk, he thought back in March. But why not? Why wouldn’t he take the risk? What has he got to lose?  
And a few days later he’s back at the airport, picking up Lewis and Roscoe.  
And then finally, when they are home, because at this point it really feels like Lewis’ home too, when they stand in the snow, Seb can’t help but finally feel all that he has ignored for years. So he takes a breath.  
“Lew?” he says and Lewis turns to him with that one smile that will always make Seb’s heart stutter. “Lewis. I’m in love with you”. It’s cold and it’s snowing and at some point he was pretty sure the snow had melted into his shoes but the look that Lewis focuses him with makes him forget it all. So much love and relief and hope and love and love and love.  
They meet halfway, Lewis’ hand softly caressing Seb’s cheek and Seb’s arm around Lewis’ waist and after what feels like an eternity their lips finally meet and everything in Sebastian’s life makes sense. Everything that has been missing for years falls in place.  
And when Lewis says “I’m in love with you too” all Seb wants to do is hold the other and never ever let him go. So that’s what he does. And he savours every I love you, every morning woken up next to Lewis, every simple touch just as he used to savour every overtake against him, every podium with him. It’s him and Lewis versus the world now and not him versus Lewis ever again. At least not off the race track. Because he’d be damned to just let Lewis win and he makes him fight for every point and every position next season. Just as World Champions do.


End file.
